Dir: Mark Pirro
Cast: Mark Pirro, Hugh Fields, Lori Sutton, Eddie Deezen
Rated R, Approx: 84 Minutes
Pirromount DVD
Different Vein."
you're ever likely to have at
the movies!
Mark Pirro (Nudist Colony of the Dead and Curse of the Queerwolf) knows how to turn a groan into laughter
probably better than anyone else I can think of. Just about every joke presented here is painfully stupid, but I can't
help but laugh every time I see it. Pirro knows what kind of movie he has on his hands here and never looses
direction. Polish Vampire is moronically funny all the way down to the last frame.
streets looking for victims and have to bring a bag of blood back to the castle for Dupah. After his father has finally
had enough of his son loafing around the house and not pulling his own weight, he sends him out with his sister
Yvonne and tells him not to return until he has been with a woman (biting her, of course). On their was out Yvonne
tells Dupah of the other child in the family, Sphincter (the legendary Eddie Deezen!) who was much like Dupah in that
he was afraid of making a move with the ladies. We find out through an entertaining flashback that Sphincter was
reduced to a skeleton with glasses by a high kicking religious fanatic (a precursor to Peter Jackson's amazing Father
McGruder in Dead Alive) who leaves him for dead in the sun's rays.
to be breaking up with her boyfriend (who gives great head) at the moment. Unfortunately though, Dupah respects
her too much to just bite her with getting to know her first. This is no easy feat when the rising sun continually cuts
their dates short. In Dupah's quest to win her heart before he drinks her blood he runs afoul of her bully of an
ex-boyfriend, a very angry movie theater usher ("...and then, they get a hacksaw!"), an inept spy, his skeleton
brother, and of course a Queerwolf (on a night with a full moon and everything!).
few tired running gags (poetic license?) then you should really get a kick out of this one. Although there are a few
jokes that fall flat, the good vastly outweighs the bad. When I recently revisited this one I found myself laughing
harder than ever. With crude ethnic jokes and sexual innuendos galore, A Polish Vampire in Burbank is winner!
review by Dr. Spector 1/25/02
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