Dir: Lew Guinn
Cast: Rene Bond, Sandy Dempsey, Ric Lutze,
John Paul Jones, Louis Geno
Not Rated, Approx: 72 Minutes
Something Weird DVD
wanted... and they took
everything she had!"
south...even if its a little
'premature.'
pair of country crooners’ tour bus. The premature ejaculation motif pops up with a surprisingly high frequency;
considering that no one in the movie cuts loose early as far as I can tell. Jan actually makes that joke when the bus
hits a big bump while she’s getting frisky in a bunk with the bass player. This type of lame humor is prevalent
throughout the first two thirds of Country Hooker; fortunately it tapers off towards the end.
porn’ features (Country Cuzzins, The Pigkeeper’s Daughter, Tobacco Roody, etc. Aside from the barely
referenced southern local and the presence of one ubiquitous sex kitten, Country Hooker has little in common with
the others. The violent edge present here lends this one to being in the same league as The Godson and its DVD
mate Sweet Georgia. While I would definitely categorize this one as a sex and violence film, the accent is definitely
on the former. The sex is explicit as nearly anything else of the time, but the violence is pretty tame when compared
to such fare as The Adult Version of Jekyl and Hide or Gore Gore Girls. The violence is used more to define
one character’s personality than it’s exploited for titillation.
meets a country hooker?
that they’ve hit a spell of bad luck as they’ve lost most of their band and are down to their last $10. Things seem to
turn around for them though when they see two pretty young hitchhikers on the side of the road (Dempsey and the
always welcome Rene Bond). It’s not long before everyone pairs off and begins doing the horizontal hula. If you
listen to the trailer though (or read the back of the DVD, or even just read the title of the movie) you’ll know that there’
s always trouble when a “country hick meets a country hooker!”
their bus. During this time we also find out that the guys are trying to get to a gig in a bar…and in a huge non-
coincidence, the girls happen to work at the same bar. When everyone arrives at the bar, we learn that things are
seemingly run by a pimp/country singer/all around nasty thug named Mike. The two hitchhikers work for Mike and
were instructed to make sure that the guys didn’t make it to the gig on time. Things become complicated though
when the girls decide that they’re now in love with the two new guys. The story unfolds as gradually as the 72 minute
run time would allow, which thankfully is pretty gradual as our protagonists seem to be pretty slow on the uptake.
When things finally do fall into place, the story shifts into high gear and promptly slams into a brick wall. For what it’s
worth the story is interesting, but the ending is one of the most laughably abrupt that I’ve ever seen.
was pretty impressed overall with the finished product. First and
foremost, Rene Bond is worth the price alone. Her career divides
itself nicely into two halves, pre boob job and post boob job.
Country Hooker falls in the latter category, and while I’m more
partial to the former I can’t find many complaints about her
augmentation. They look good and aren’t exaggerated at all. I
would have to say that this is one of her better post boob job roles,
she looks as good as ever and since she’s working with frequent
partner Rick Lutze (credited here as Ric Loots) there’s an added
touch of authenticity. Strictly on an analytical level of course, I
examined their love making scenes very closely and made note that
it doesn’t have as much in common with most simulated sex scenes
as it does with their more explicit counterparts…strictly analytically
speaking of course.
attributes to set it apart from its
peers...
one out. I’m not just talking about Dempsey or any of the other naked women either; this is actually a pretty well
made movie. Of course many of today’s cynical audiences will probably point out that the acting is wooden, and for
the most part it is (especially for the minor roles). It’s not bad to the point of distraction though. The pacing and
writing are actually pretty good, a cut above some of the others in this cannon. While the dialogue and jokes are
corny, they won’t make you cringe like the ones in Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet! One thing that I found
particularly charming about the film was that Bond and Dempsey especially seemed to do a fair amount of ad libbing.
Watching closely I would guess that this sound was recorded live and not overdubbed either. All of the intimate
scenes are lent a good deal of authenticity by the banter exchanged by the characters. It doesn’t sound overly
scripted as dialogue often does in sex scenes. It’s also a welcome relief not to have ridiculous overdubs looped over
a sex scene that obviously don’t match the characters movements or even their voice!
As frustrated as I often am buy Harry Novak and Friends’ meandering commentary tracks, I do enjoy them. Country
Hooker could really use one, as I’d like to hear more about the relationship between Bond and Lutze and find out
exactly who Lew Guinn is.
remarkably good condition. Far better than anyone would have the right to expect from films like this. The extras are
mostly Marsha Jordan/Sweet Georgia themed, so they would be best served to be included in that review. Sadly,
there is no commentary track for either film, and I can’t seem to find any hidden easter eggs. I did notice that there
appears to be a glitch though, if you skip past the SWV intro or skip backwards too far from either film it takes out to
the gallery of exploitation photos. This isn’t really a problem at all; I just found it peculiar.
All in all, I would say this is worth picking up for any Something Weird/Rene Bond Fans. Other’s I would recommend
approach with caution. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a very good movie. It’s just not the best starting point for
those interesting in weird and wonderful 70s exploitation. I would say Country Hooker is a charming movie, but
doesn’t feel as sleazy as some of its contemporaries.
Review by Dr. Spector 09.07.2005
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