Dir: Uwe Boll
Cast: Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley,
Matt Davis, Udo Kier, Michelle Rodriguez, Meat Loaf
Aday, Michael Pare, Billy Zane
Rated R, Approx: 96 Minutes
A Romar Entertainment Release
Universal DVD
charm for German director
Uwe Boll...
in today’s market of slickly done cinema. I’d really like to think so, as there's something enjoyably unpretentious
about this fun little movie, but judging from the amount of scathing criticism this movie has already received, it’s hard
to remain an optimist.
mercilessly slaughtered at the hands of virtually every critic (professional and amateur) that has laid eyes upon it.
Their complaints aren’t necessarily invalid, I suppose, but you can’t review every film by the same standards either.
So when I read reviews that attack BloodRayne because it doesn’t offer up the same dramatic punch as Peter
Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, I balk. It’s obvious that this movie has no pretensions about the type of film that
it is. It’s not trying for the epic grandeur of Jackson’s dazzling trilogy, I just don’t understand why that’s such a hard
concept to grasp.
that started to appear in the early 80s. It’s exploitative, violent and gory and populated with actors who look as
though they’d rather be doing just about anything else. Now I suppose to audiences today, who are well acquainted
with Hollywood product that can usually disguise its failings in a pretty wrapper, BloodRayne is probably pretty off-
putting. That takes me back to my point about a film like this being unable to prosper in such an age of spoiled
moviegoers. But than again, to be fair, it’s not as if Deathstalker was tailor made to be a blockbuster either.
Movie That Isn't Made Anymore.
80s, I had the pleasure of watching lots of obscure cinema thanks to cable networks such as USA (back when they
reveled in showing trashy horror, fantasy and sex comedies), WLVI and WPIX, all of whom showed a good deal of low
budget movies. Between those channels and the video store (back when there was no Internet and the only way to
tell if an unknown movie was good was to actually rent it), I was exposed to a lot of “sword and sorcery” cheapies
(among other wonderful genres that our site encompasses). Stuff like Deathstalker, Sorceress, Warrior Queen
and even Fulci’s Conquest all caught my attention. Are these great films? I wouldn’t argue that fact, but I’d offer up
a digression about how much fun they can be to watch and I don’t have a problem with mentioning BloodRayne in
the same breath as any of those films. It may not be an exact fit being that it's not exactly a "beefcake" flick (meaning
that it's not all about bodybuilders playing barbarians), but if you’ve seen any of those, than you have a good idea
about what to expect from this.
led by the ruthless king Kagan (Ben Kingsley). There’s a secret society of warriors called the Brimstone, warriors
who have pledged to oppose Kagan’s minions, and one of their leaders, Vladimir (Michael Madsen) searches for the
mythical dhampir, a half human, half vampire who can help them in their war. This creature is Rayne (Kristanna
Loken-Terminator 3), a young woman privy to berserker fits of blood cravings who also seeks revenge (a
cornerstone in all movies of this ilk) against Kagan for the murder of her mother. The stage is set for a heroic quest
of heroism and vengeance that takes our heroes across some well lensed landscapes as they plot Kagan's demise.
there’s some stuff about retrieving the body parts of some deceased, infamously evil vampire, the reunion of which
will grant a person some great power or another-I think. Rayne becomes fused with the dead vampire’s eye
(basically her eye turns green), something I think makes her more powerful, but I’m not really sure. She also winds
up fighting alongside the Brimstone society, and of course, having random sex with one of the guys simply because
this is an exploitation movie. Gotta have some sex and nudity if you’re gonna pull one of these babies off properly
after all.
Madsen wanders through the entire thing with a vague indifference, which makes his part all the more amusing since
he’s supposed to be the leader of a secret society making a desperate final stand against a plague of evil. I’m a big
fan of Madsen so it’s hard for me to criticize him entirely, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t charmed by his stoic take on the
character. Ben Kingsley is fairly forgettable as the evil Kagan, and I’m still not entirely crystal on his ultimate
intentions, but at least he looks the part of an evil vampire king. Udo Kier turns up for no real reason as a monk who
offers up Rayne some exposition on her newly acquisitioned evil eye. Meat Loaf is pretty agreeable as some sort of
vampire sloth although he disappears as quickly as he shows up. Billy Zane (whose new company also distributed
the film) also pops up with a few lines. Michelle Rodriguez plays one of the Brimstone members who gets upset
because Kristanna Loken is about 600 times more gorgeous than her (well, that’s how I interpreted the reasons for
this character’s actions). Finally, Matt Davis proves to be the blandest of the bland in the tradition of such
performances as Rick Davis in Deathstalker; the hero has to be as wooden as they come.
her stunning features made me fail to ascertain some of BloodRayne’s more intricate plot points (this is sarcasm of
course). From her gorgeous face to her spectacular breasts, I can’t think of many members of the female species
who are much sexier. She also does a nice job of bringing the Rayne character to the screen. The part doesn’t
necessarily call for much range, so it’s difficult to say whether or not Loken has a long future as an actress, but she
fits this role nicely (her cleavage-bearing outfits don’t hurt one little bit either). She also looks smoldering with a
smattering of fake blood around her mouth. I’m not sure what that says about my psychology, but that look really
does it for me!
cinematography that captures the beauty of the Romanian landscape to the battles, this is far more restrained than
the director's previous stuff. The action sequences, largely consisting of swordplay, are rather straightforward and
done well enough. The fight scenes aren’t going to make anybody forget the swordsmanship of other films, but there’
s nothing here to be ashamed about. Boll also piles on enough face stabbing, limb chopping and blood spurting to
satisfy the crimson crowd. Rayne’s blood cravings (above) should also appease the gorehounds as her neck
munching habits are a nasty affair also. The story could’ve stood to delve into this a bit more since it becomes
merely an afterthought after the first half of the film but the FX work is still well done.
There’s a lemming mentality to many movie discussion boards (none more so than the IMDb however) where
everybody simply falls in line behind everybody else simply because it’s trendy to bash Uwe Boll’s movies (if
everybody claiming to have seen the film had actually seen it, it’s $400,000 take on opening Friday would’ve been a
lot higher). Sure people will hate this movie, that’s inevitable, but at least watch it with an open mind before
condemning it to the fiery depths of celluloid hell alongside real crap like the remake of The Amityville Horror.
didn’t intend for his film to invoke fond memories of low budgeted “beefcake” epics from a bygone era, but it does. If
you can take this film for what it is, than I see no reason why you shouldn’t find much to enjoy about it.
* * * 1/2 out of 5
Reviewed By Matt Serafini 1/07/2006
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