Dir: Dan Martin, Byron Mabe
Cast: Uschi Digart, Jane Tsentas,
Peggy Church, Momo
AKA: The Big Catch
| “Love means never having to say you’re horny!” |
| Image from www.onesheetindex.com |
…Yet another pearl of wisdom from the realm of sexploitation cinema that is often described as “So bad it’s good.” I
have a real problem with the phrase and its flagrant overuse. I can understand the entertainment value in something
that is uproariously in inept that it’s engaging, but I find this phrase is quickly slapped on to any film that doesn’t fit neatly
into a genre or a narrow definition of “good” cinema. I would consider “So bad it’s good” appropriate only when it’s
glaringly obvious that a filmmaker was shooting for a certain effect and failed so miserably that this failure is in itself
entertaining. Plan 9 From Outer Space fits this criterion. What doesn’t fit is a movie that is so offensively bad that it
ruins your day (Psycho remake, Crossroads, etc.) or a movie where the filmmaker obviously knew what type of movie
they were creating. I cringe when I hear people describe Russ Meyer films this way. Whether you care for them or not
is a matter of personal taste, these films came out the way they were intended to come out.
The Big Snatch follows the same creed: It is what it is, and that’s exactly what it was supposed to be. One needs only to
glance at the opening credits to get an idea where “Ronnie Runningboard’s” head was. The production values are low
and the actors certainly aren’t going to win any awards, still the film is competently made by some of the better talents of
the era and there is an undeniable good vibe permeating throughout. I would classify The Big Snatch as a good movie,
even if the rest of the world tries to tell me otherwise.
have a real problem with the phrase and its flagrant overuse. I can understand the entertainment value in something
that is uproariously in inept that it’s engaging, but I find this phrase is quickly slapped on to any film that doesn’t fit neatly
into a genre or a narrow definition of “good” cinema. I would consider “So bad it’s good” appropriate only when it’s
glaringly obvious that a filmmaker was shooting for a certain effect and failed so miserably that this failure is in itself
entertaining. Plan 9 From Outer Space fits this criterion. What doesn’t fit is a movie that is so offensively bad that it
ruins your day (Psycho remake, Crossroads, etc.) or a movie where the filmmaker obviously knew what type of movie
they were creating. I cringe when I hear people describe Russ Meyer films this way. Whether you care for them or not
is a matter of personal taste, these films came out the way they were intended to come out.
The Big Snatch follows the same creed: It is what it is, and that’s exactly what it was supposed to be. One needs only to
glance at the opening credits to get an idea where “Ronnie Runningboard’s” head was. The production values are low
and the actors certainly aren’t going to win any awards, still the film is competently made by some of the better talents of
the era and there is an undeniable good vibe permeating throughout. I would classify The Big Snatch as a good movie,
even if the rest of the world tries to tell me otherwise.
With that rant out of the way, let’s dive right into the movie. Some creepy Chris Elliot look-a-like named Bart (billed as
Harry Chest) drives around the suburbs kidnapping sexy women (including personal favorites Jane Tsentas and Uschi
Digart). They’re understandably outraged, given that they were in the middle of important tasks such as utilizing
playground equipment and watering the lawn. Bart makes escape from his desert compound (a shack with some
tumbleweed and an empty pool) impossible with a pack of wild dogs.
Left with no other choices, the women submit to his every desire. Bart’s a pretty simple guy, so the desires mostly
include nude jumping jacks, push ups, rock and roll dancing, and of course the occasional aardvarking. Tension arises
when one of the women is revealed as an 18-year-old virgin. She’s pretty disgusted by Bart and berates him about his
lack of understanding of the concept of love. At this point, Bart retorts with the above quote, forever securing his place
in the sleaze-ball hall of fame. Seeing that there is not reasoning with him, she attempts to escape, only to be caught
and fondled by Bart’s mute right hand man: Momo. Her punishment is easily the most memorable part of the film; she is
tied down over the exposed radiator of Bart’s junkie car as the steam blasts her vagina. It’s not as nasty as it sounds,
but it’s still a winner as Bart torments her about having her “clam” steamed open.
Harry Chest) drives around the suburbs kidnapping sexy women (including personal favorites Jane Tsentas and Uschi
Digart). They’re understandably outraged, given that they were in the middle of important tasks such as utilizing
playground equipment and watering the lawn. Bart makes escape from his desert compound (a shack with some
tumbleweed and an empty pool) impossible with a pack of wild dogs.
Left with no other choices, the women submit to his every desire. Bart’s a pretty simple guy, so the desires mostly
include nude jumping jacks, push ups, rock and roll dancing, and of course the occasional aardvarking. Tension arises
when one of the women is revealed as an 18-year-old virgin. She’s pretty disgusted by Bart and berates him about his
lack of understanding of the concept of love. At this point, Bart retorts with the above quote, forever securing his place
in the sleaze-ball hall of fame. Seeing that there is not reasoning with him, she attempts to escape, only to be caught
and fondled by Bart’s mute right hand man: Momo. Her punishment is easily the most memorable part of the film; she is
tied down over the exposed radiator of Bart’s junkie car as the steam blasts her vagina. It’s not as nasty as it sounds,
but it’s still a winner as Bart torments her about having her “clam” steamed open.
Fed up, the women decide it’s time to take a stand. Bart’s sloppy hostage techniques make it easy for them to seduce
and castrate Momo with a pair of wire cutters (again, not as nasty as it sounds). Bart doesn’t get off so easily though.
After teasing another castration with the cutters, they decide to give Bart a taste of his own medicine. I have a difficult
time finding the words to describe this pale naked redhead man dancing and doing push ups completely nekkid. It’s
certainly an image that will remain with me for the rest of my days.
The coupe de grace comes when the girls decide to screw him to death. After the fourth or fifth time it will begin to hurt,
so the girls all take one-hour shifts and rest in between. I found it curious that the virgin didn’t make a big deal of
sacrificing her cherry to bring down Bart. I figured that would surely be the big finally. Instead the women keep
switching off long into the night; Colette (Ushci’s character) even takes a moment to slap him in the face with her
legendary breasts. It should also be noted that the token lesbian takes some time to go down on the virgin while she’s
sleeping in the midst of all this. As much as I thought there was missed opportunity with the obvious finale, there is a
wholly satisfying and somewhat unexpected twist ending tacked on for your enjoyment.
The Big Snatch is a prime example of what happens when everything in a cheapie sexploitation film works. Structurally,
there is hardly any difference between this one and a clunker from the same era. This one just happens to have some
of the sexiest talent around (although I can’t help but miss Rene Bond’s presence after seeing her and Tsentas together
in The Adult Version of Jekyll and Hide) and some reliable names behind the camera (Byron Mabe and Dave Friedman
distributed). There was always plenty going on and everyone involved seemed to be having a good time (even Momo).
and castrate Momo with a pair of wire cutters (again, not as nasty as it sounds). Bart doesn’t get off so easily though.
After teasing another castration with the cutters, they decide to give Bart a taste of his own medicine. I have a difficult
time finding the words to describe this pale naked redhead man dancing and doing push ups completely nekkid. It’s
certainly an image that will remain with me for the rest of my days.
The coupe de grace comes when the girls decide to screw him to death. After the fourth or fifth time it will begin to hurt,
so the girls all take one-hour shifts and rest in between. I found it curious that the virgin didn’t make a big deal of
sacrificing her cherry to bring down Bart. I figured that would surely be the big finally. Instead the women keep
switching off long into the night; Colette (Ushci’s character) even takes a moment to slap him in the face with her
legendary breasts. It should also be noted that the token lesbian takes some time to go down on the virgin while she’s
sleeping in the midst of all this. As much as I thought there was missed opportunity with the obvious finale, there is a
wholly satisfying and somewhat unexpected twist ending tacked on for your enjoyment.
The Big Snatch is a prime example of what happens when everything in a cheapie sexploitation film works. Structurally,
there is hardly any difference between this one and a clunker from the same era. This one just happens to have some
of the sexiest talent around (although I can’t help but miss Rene Bond’s presence after seeing her and Tsentas together
in The Adult Version of Jekyll and Hide) and some reliable names behind the camera (Byron Mabe and Dave Friedman
distributed). There was always plenty going on and everyone involved seemed to be having a good time (even Momo).
I’m surprised at the limited availability of this one. Given some of the lesser films that Something Weird Video has
released as Image Special Edition DVDs, I would have figured this to be a shoe in. The image quality is clean and the
title is eye catching to say the least. Sure, there are a few pickles and beavers running around, but it’s no more explicit
than any of the country corn porn floating around. Regardless, there is something charming about the limited
availability. It still feels like a well-kept secret. There was a time when Ilsa and Blood Feast felt the same way, now it just
seems like they’re everywhere. Oh well, if you want it you can get it through Something Weird’s catalogue or through
the website; it’s available on VHS and DVD-R.
released as Image Special Edition DVDs, I would have figured this to be a shoe in. The image quality is clean and the
title is eye catching to say the least. Sure, there are a few pickles and beavers running around, but it’s no more explicit
than any of the country corn porn floating around. Regardless, there is something charming about the limited
availability. It still feels like a well-kept secret. There was a time when Ilsa and Blood Feast felt the same way, now it just
seems like they’re everywhere. Oh well, if you want it you can get it through Something Weird’s catalogue or through
the website; it’s available on VHS and DVD-R.
4 steamed clams out of 5
Dr. Spector 11.12.2006
Dr. Spector 11.12.2006